Trololo
by Coco Gash Jirachi
Summary: AU. Set before the series. On a hot rainy night, Jack and Kiryu are left alone. Jack keeps on playing a song more so to annoy Kiryu then to amuse himself... or is it really amusing him? Sorta a prequel to an upcoming one-shot. CRACKFIC! :D


**_Trololo_**

**_By Coco Gash Jirachi_**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own 5D's or "Trololo" by Eduard Khil_**

**_Summary: AU. Set before the series. On a hot rainy night, Jack and Kiryu are left alone. Jack keeps on playing a song more so to annoy Kiryu then to amuse himself... or is it really amusing him? Sorta a prequel to an upcoming one-shot. CRACKFIC! :D_**

* * *

**_Ahhhhh ya ya yaaaah, _**  
**_Ya ya yaaah, _**  
**_Yaaah, _**  
**_Ya yah. _**

**_Ohohohoooo! _**  
**_Oh ya yaaah, _**  
**_Ya ya yaaah, _**  
**_Yaaah, _**  
**_Ya yah. _**

Kiryu's eyebrows twitched. The Russian lyrics that appeared as nonsense in his ears (as well as many other peoples') proved to be very distracting.

_Ignore it, Kyosuke, and remember your karma._

**_Ye-ye-ye-ye-yeh ye-ye-yeh ye-ye-yeh, _**  
**_Oh hohohoh. _**

**_Ye-ye-ye-ye-yeh ye-ye-yeh ye-ye-yeh, _**  
**_Oh hohohooooooooooo! _**

**_-Aaaaoooooh, aaaooo hooo haha! _**

Kiryu bit down on his bottom lip as Jack turned the CD player up. By now, he would have much rather preferred hearing the blonde brat whining about being bored rather than having this song playing. This God-forsaken song was like nails on a chalkboard after listening to it for a good twenty minutes straight, over and over and over and over again.

**_Nah-nah-nah-nah-nuh-nuh, _**  
**_Nah nuh-nuh, _**  
**_Nah nuh-nuh, _**  
**_Nah nuh-nuh, _**  
**_Nuh-nah. _**

**_Nah-nah-nah-nun, _**  
**_Nun-ah-nah, _**  
**_Nun-ah-nah, _**  
**_Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah! _**  
**_Nah-nah-nah-nah-naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! _**  
**_Dah dah daaaaaaaaah... _**  
**_Da-da-daaah, _**  
**_Daaah, daa-daah. _**

_Concentrate... concentrate..._

For his life, Kiryu wouldn't have been able to concentrate. His hands seemed to want to stop fixing his duel disk and rather wanted to jam the screwdriver into his ear just so stab himself in the brain until he would become completely brain dead. But this screwdriver... dare he say it was one of his only valuable possessions? Even though he'd be too dead to care about what happened to it, it seemed disgraceful to defile such an instrument with blood, ear wax and brain bits.

_Brain, please, commit suicide on me now..._

**_Lololololoooooooo! _**  
**_La la-laaaaaah, _**  
**_La la laah, _**  
**_Lol, haha. _**

**_Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho, _**  
**_Ho-ho-ho, _**  
**_Ho-ho-ho, _**  
**_Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho! _**

**_Oh-ho-ho-ho, _**  
**_Ho-ho-ho, _**  
**_Ho-ho-ho, _**  
**_Lo-lo-loooo! _**

"Alright - **_THAT'S IT!_**"

Kiryu pushed himself from his seat at his desk, turning around and glaring at the slightly younger boy. Jack seemed to be like a five year-old boy in time-out; sitting against the wall bored, his eyes staring at nothing. The CD player was seated in his lap, which his fingers drummed on.

"Jack, for the love of _**GOD**_-"

**_AAIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-eee-eee-EEEE!_**

**_"- JESUS CHRIST!"_**

Kiryu stumbled backwards, falling over and whacking the back of his head on the edge of the desk.

**_Luh luh lah, _**  
**_Lah, Lah-lah._**

"Hm?"

Jack seemed to have barely registered the older boy's screech over the sound of Russian Jibberish. As he lifted his gaze up and scanned the room, he looked over at Kiryu, whom was busy cussing beneath his breath and rubbing the back of his head.

"What the hell are you doing, Kiryu-kun?" Jack asked.

Kiryu turned his golden-green eyes Jack's way with a growl.

**_Oh-ho-ho-ho-hoooooo! _**  
**_-BOPahdududuh-dah-dadudaaah! _**  
**_Da-da-daaah, _**  
**_Daaah, _**  
**_Daa-daah. _**

**_Lololololo, _**  
**_Lololo, _**  
**_Lololol, _**  
**_La la la la yaah! _**  
**_Trolololo la, _**  
**_La-la-la, _**  
**_La-la-la- _**

**_"Would it KILL YOU to turn that infernal racket down? I can hardly hear my own thoughts over that - that..."_** Kiryu growled. _**"THAT RIDICULOUS NOISE!"**_

_"I'm booooored!"_ Jack whined.

_**"That's not my God damn problem!"**_ Kiryu shrieked.

_"And it's **hot!**"_

**_"What do I look like to you, a miracle worker?"_** Kiryu snapped.

"I think the heat is making you cranky." Jack said.

_**"I - what - the heat? THAT DRUNKEN RUSSIAN SONG IS MAKING ME WANT TO KILL MY BRAIN!"**_

"It's either this or The Backstreet Boys."

"You know what? I would **_GLADLY_** embrace that deceased, so-called not-gay boy band over whoever the hell this God damn Russian is!" Kiryu said.

"His name is Eduard Khil."

_**"I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK!"**_

**_Oh hahahaho! _**  
**_Hahaheheho! _**  
**_Hohohoheho! _**  
**_Hahahaheho! _**

**_Lolololololololo, _**  
**_Lololololololol, _**  
**_Lololololololol, _**  
**_Lololo LOL! _**

In a sequence so quick, Jack was unable to fully register Kiryu snatching the CD player from his lap and hands. Before he knew it, he was watching Kiryu slam the door open and run out into the pouring rain.

**_Ahhhhh! _**  
**_La-la-laaah! _**  
**_La la-laaah, _**  
**_Laaah, la-la. _**

**_Oh-ho-ho-ho-hoooooo! _**  
**_La, _**  
**_La-laaaah, _**  
**_Lalala, _**  
**_Lol, _**  
**_Haha. _**

_**"TAKE THIS! AND THAT! AND THIS! AND THAT! AND THIS AND THAT AND THIS AND THAT AND THIS AND THAT AND THIS AND THAT AND-"**_

The CD player, along with the CD, were not up to keeping the aluminum baseball bat from injuring it. As it broke apart, the rain slipped into the cracks, hitting the electrical wire. Tiny puffs of smoke began to pour out.

_**Looooooloo**__**oooolo**__**oooooooo-loooooooloooooooloooooo-loooooooloooooooolooooooooooo... **_  
_**Ooooooohhhhhhh-hhhhhhhoooooooooooo-hhhhhooooooooo-hhhhhhhhooooooo-hhhhhhhhhhhooooooooooo...**_

Had anyone been dumb enough to be outside during such a downpour, even if the rain was warm to the touch, they would have suspected that Kiryu was a madman. Anyone who was outside, screaming at the top of his lungs as he mercilessly beat a loud CD player with a baseball bat - none the less a CD player that was still playing a song (an annoying one, at that) - should be locked away in a mental institution to never see the light of day again. Plus the fact that Kiryu had the eyes and laugh of a madman wasn't helping his cause. He would most likely be given a straight-jacket and padded walls.

_**Looooolooooolooooooo****-loooooooloooooooloooooo-loooooooloooooooolooooooooooo... **_  
_**Oooooohhhh-hhhhhoooooooo-hhhhhhhhhoooooooo-hhhhhhhhhoooooooo!...**_

Kiryu gave the CD player one last whack before he stopped. Panting and soaking wet, he grinned and gave an out-of-breath laugh. He dropped the bat onto the wet ground before he turned around and headed back inside.

"That was uncalled for." Jack said simply before Kiryu slammed the door shut.

"My brain no longer wishes to commit suicide..." Kiryu said, giving a half-goofy, half-creepy smile before he chuckled. "I feel so relieved... like I was holding in a piss for twelve hours straight and just finished pissing..."

"That was Yusei's CD player, you know."

At that, Kiryu's expression dead-panned to white.

_**"... YOU MOTHER FUCKING FUCK FUCKER WITH A CUNT FACE MOTHER FUCKING SON OF A FUCKING WHORE BASTARD BITCH FUCKING FUCKTARDS!"**_

"You're really into yelling, aren't you?" Jack asked.

Kiryu merely kept his head down, trudging over to the desk.

"I am going to pretend this didn't happen..."

"You're getting water everywhere." Jack said.

Kiryu looked back towards the door. He hadn't noticed until now that he had been soaked to the bone. A good wet trail of dripping rain had been left behind by him. He then stood up straight and looked down at his clothes. His slightly baggy shirt clung to his body, his pants clung to his legs in an uncomfortable fashion, and his hair dripped wet droplets down onto the carpet.

_"I fucking **hate you**..."_ Kiryu whimpered.

"I'm no the idiot who walked out into the rain." Jack retorted. "And you're gonna catch a cold if you stay in those wet clothes."

"First of all, Jack," Kiryu began as he pulled out the desk chair and sat down. He turned his head in the blonde's direction. "One: it's summer time. How the hell will I get a cold in the summer? Two: the rain was fucking warm! And three: I don't have any more damn clothes that are clean! Crow's the one that cleans them, and until tomorrow he and Yusei are gone picking up our supplies for the month!"

_"Kiryu, I'm **hot**..."_ Jack whined.

Kiryu tanlged his hands into his wet hair and screamed.

"Jack. **_SHUT UP! _**I**_ NEED_** to get my duel disk fixed before our next mission in **_two days!_**" Kiryu growled before he turned around in a huff.

"You are **_so boring_** when you're pissed."

* * *

**_THEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEEND!_** :D

Aki: -.-''' Who else but you, Creator-sama? Who else but you?

Gash: ~_~ (Sitting around casually, licking a strawberry ice cream bar)

Aki: **_LEYLA GASH SUKI!_**

Gash: - _**WHOA!**_ (Jumps, nearly dropping ice cream bar and sits atop of Zeon's head) Oh! It's you, Akks! ^_^

Aki: Yes. **_NOW SPEAK TO THE READERS!_**

Gash: o.o Oh! They've finished reading?

Aki: Doy! Why else would they be here at the authoress notes?

Gash: ... Cuz they skipped reading the story to talk to me? :D That means they like me cuz I'm cute and funny!

Skylar: **_OF COURSE THEY LOVE YOU! YOU ARE VERY CUTE AND FUNNY!_** (Hugs the authoress)

Gash: XD I'm flattered, Sky-chan!

Aki: Wondrous. **_NOW SPEAK!_**

Gash: _Fiiiine..._

Zeon: (Sets Gash and Skylar down from his head)

Gash: _Sooooo_... yeah. Wanna hear the story behind this one?

Skylar: Yes, they do! :D

Gash: Okay, so I had this dream a few weeks back that Jack and Kiryu were having sex-

Skylar: o.o Wait! There's no sex in this!

Gash: ... I know. T.T But! I started to write this as a scene that would lead up to them hitting the sheets... but then after all of the madness, I couldn't take it seriously anymore. So then I started to rewrite it, but I still kept this cuz I was gonna post it as a bonus scene after the one-shot, but then I thought this would be good enough to be a crackfic. :3 So here it is!

Aki: What is **WITH** you and dreaming about yaoi?

Gash: D: I **_LOVE YAOI_**, Akks! Before I dreamed about Jack and Kiryu having sex, I dreamed about Kiryu and Crow having sex!

Skylar: Which she is also developing into a one-shot! :D

Aki: ... You are demented, child.

Gash: X3 I am very aware!

Zeon: And for those of you interested in listening to the song from this fic, go on YouTube and look up "Trololo Eduard Khil". It is guaranteed to make you laugh.

Gash: Indeed it is! :3 My father sent me the link to listen to it cuz on the radio station I listen to, when someone says something dumb they play this song! It's funny!

Zeon: Yes, it is.

Gash: Anywho... review, please! And look out for the JackxKiryu one-shot coming out under the M rating once I get it done! As well as the KiryuxCrow one...

Skylar: Until then...

Gash and Skylar: Try and figure out who's on top when it comes to Jack and Kiryu! :D

Zeon: And review.

Mimi: Pyupyu! ^o^

Zeon: And if you don't review, expect to hear nothing but "Trololo" for all of eternity - even in the afterlife.

Kiryu: o_o Just review! That song makes my brain wanna die!

Gash: _**FLUFFY-HEAD!**_ (**_GLOMPSH_** Kiryu)

Kiryu: DX **_ACK! GET HER OFFA ME!_**

Gash: (Purrs and cuddles him) X3 _Kiryu has fluffy hair~_


End file.
